Italian letter of complaint
An Italiano tourist wrote a complaint letter to the Manager of a hotel in London…The letter read as follows:
Dear Signor Diretorre
Now I am tella you the story how I was treated at your hotella. I am comma from Palermo as tourist to London and stay as a young man at your hotella. When I comma in my room I see no shit in my bed.
How can I sleep with no shit in my bed? I calla down the Receptione and tell: " I wanna shit ".
They tella me " Go to the toillett ".
I said " No, no. I wanna Shit in my bed ".
They said " You betta not shit in your bed, you sonnawabitch ".
What is sonnawabitch? !
I go down to ristorante for breakfast.
I order bacon and eggs and Two pisses of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress and point to toast " I wanna piss ".
She tella "Go to the toillett ".
I say " No, no. I wanna piss on my plate ".
She then say to me " You bloody fella better not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch "
Second person who do not even know me and call me sonnawabitch"
What is sonnawabitch?
Later I go dinner into restorante. Spoon and knife is laid but no fock. I tella waitress "I wanna fock",
and she tellame "Sure everybody wanna fock".
I tell her "No, No. You don't understand me. I wanna fock on the table".
She then tell me " So you sonnawabitch, wanna fock on the table? Get your ass outa here!"
So I go to the receptione and ask for bills. I no wanna stay in your hotel no more.
When I have pay the bills, the porter say to me "Thank you and piss be with you ". I say " Piss on you too, you sonnawabitch".
I go back to Italy! I never more comma stay in your hotella or you Cuntry,